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Wasted and wounded, it ain't what the moon did
I've got what I paid
for now
see ya tomorrow, hey Frank, can I borrow
a couple of bucks from
you, to go
Waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda, you'll go
waltzing
Mathilda with me
I'm an innocent victim of a blinded alley
and I'm tired of all these
soldiers here
no one speaks English, and everything's broken
and my Stacys
are soaking wet
to go waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda, you'll go
waltzing Mathilda with me
now the dogs are barking
and the taxi cab's parking
a lot they can do
for me
I begged you to stab me
you tore my shirt open
and I'm down on
my knees tonight
Old Bushmill's I staggered, you buried the dagger in
your
silhouette window light go to go
waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda, you'll
go waltzing
Mathilda with me
now I lost my Saint Christopher now that I've kissed her and the one-armed
bandit knows, and the maverick Chinamen, and the cold-blooded signs
and the
girls down by the strip-tease shows go
waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda,
you'll go waltzing Mathilda with me
no, I don't want your sympathy, the fugitives say that the streets aren't for
dreaming now
manslaughter dragnets and the ghosts that sell memories
they
want a piece of the action anyhow go
waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda,
you'll go waltzing Mathilda with me
and you can ask any sailor, and the keys from the jailor
and the old men
in wheelchairs know
that Mathilda's the defendant, she killed about a
hundred
and she follows wherever you may go
waltzing Mathilda, waltzing
Mathilda, you'll go waltzing
Mathilda with me
and it's a battered old suitcase to a hotel someplace
and a wound that
will never heal
no prima donna, the perfume is on
an old shirt that is
stained with blood and whiskey
and goodnight to the street sweepers
the
night watchman flame keepers
and goodnight to Mathilda too
tracks
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Of the
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tracks
Well, I'm a jitterbug boy
by the shoe-shine
resting on my
laurels
and my Hardys too
life of Riley on a swing shift
gears follow
my drift
Once upon a time I was
in show-biz too
I seen the Brooklyn
Dodgers
playin at Ebbets Field
seen the Kentucky Derby too
it's fast
women, slow horses, I'm reliable sources
and I'm holding up a lamp post
if you want to know
I seen the Wabash Cannonball,
buddy, I've done it
all
beause I slept with the lions
and Marilyn Monroe
had breakfast
in the eye
of a hurricane
fought Rocky Marciano,
played Minnesota
Fats
burned hundred-dollar bills,
I eaten Mulligan stew
got drunk
with Louis Armstrong
what's that old song?
I taught Mickey Mantle
everything that he knows
and so you ask me
what I'm doing here
holding up a lamp post
flippin this quarter,
trying to make up my
mind
and if it's heads I'll go to
Tennessee, and tails I'll buy a
drink
if it lands on the edge
I'll keep talking to you
tracks
Well, I wish I was in New Orleans
I can see it in my
dreams
arm-in-arm down Burgundy
a bottle and my friends and me
hoist up
a few tall cool ones
play some pool and listen to that
tenor saxophone
calling me home
and I can hear the band begin
"When the Saints Go Marching
In"
by the whiskers on my chin
New Orleans, I'll be there
I'll
drink you under the table
be red nose go for walks
the old haunts what I
wants
is red beans and rice
and wear the dress I like so well
and meet
me at the old saloon
make sure there's a Dixie moon
New Orleans, I'll be
there
and deal the cards roll the dice
if it ain't that ole Chuck E.
Weiss
and Clayborn Avenue me and you
Sam Jones and all
and I wish I was
in New Orleans
I can see it in my dreams
arm-in-arm down Burgundy
a
bottle and my friends and me
New Orleans, I'll be there
tracks
The piano has been drinking
my necktie is asleep
and the combo went
back to New York
the jukebox has to take a leak
and the carpet needs a
haircut
and the spotlight looks like a prison break
cause the telephone's
out of cigarettes
and the balcony's on the make
and the piano has been
drinking
the piano has been drinking...
and the menus are all
freezing
and the lightman's blind in one eye
and he can't see out of the
other
and the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid
and he showed up with his
mother
and the piano has been drinking
the piano has been
drinking
cause the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler
cream puff casper milk
toast
and the owner is a mental midget
with the I.Q. of a
fencepost
cause the piano has been drinking
the piano has been
drinking...
and you can't find your waitress
with a Geiger
counter
And she hates you and your friends
and you just can't get served
without her
and the box-office is drooling
and the bar stools are on
fire
and the newspapers were fooling
and the ash-trays have retired
the
piano has been drinking
the piano has been drinking
The piano has been
drinking
not me, not me, not me, not me, not me
tracks
Well she's up against the register
with an apron and a spatula
with
yesterday's deliveries,
and the tickets for the bachelors
she's a moving
violation
from her conk down to her shoes
but it's just an invitation to
the blues
and you feel just like Cagney
looks like Rita Hayworth
at
the counter of the Schwab's drug store
you wonder if she might be
single
she's a loner likes to mingle
got to be patient and pick up a
clue
she says howyougonnalikem
over medium or scrambled
anyway's
the only way
be careful not to gamble
on a guy with a suitcase
and a
ticket gettin out of here
it's a tired bus station
and an old pair of
shoes
but it ain't nothing but an
invitation to the blues
but you
can't take your eyes off her
get another cup of java
and it's just the way
she pours it for you
joking with the customers
and it's mercy mercy Mr.
Percy
there ain't nothin back in Jersey
but a broken-down jalopy of a
man I left behind
and a dream that I was chasin
and a battle with
booze
and an open invitation to the blues
but she's had a sugar
daddy
and a candy apple Caddy
and a bank account and
everything
accustom to the finer things
he probably left her for a
socialite
and he didn't love her 'cept at night
and then he's drunk and
never
even told her that he cared
so they took the registration
and
the car-keys and her shoes
And left her with an invitation
to the
blues
'Cause there's a Continental Trailways leaving
local bus
tonight, good evening
you can have my seat
I'm stickin round here for a
while
get me a room at the Squire
the filling station's hiring
I can
eat here every night
what the hell have I got to lose
got a crazy
sensation,
go or stay and I've got to choose
and I'll accept your
invitation to the blues
tracks
Smelling like a brewery,
looking like a tramp
I ain't got a
quarter
got a postage stamp
Been five o'clock shadow boxing
all around
the town
Talking with the old men
sleeping on the ground
Bazanti bootin
al zootin al hoot
and Al Cohn
sharin this apartment
with a
telephone pole
and it's a fish-net stockings
spike-heel shoes
Strip
tease, prick tease
car kease blues
and the porno floor show
live nude
girls
dreamy and creamy
and the brunette curls
Chesty Morgan and a
Watermelon Rose
raise my rent and take off
all your clothes
with
the trench coats
magazines bottle full of rum
she's so good, it make
a
dead man cum, with
pasties and a g-string
beer and a shot
Portland
through a shot glass
and a Buffalo squeeze
wrinkles and cherry
and
twinky and pinky
and FeFe live from Gay Paree
fanfares rim shots
back
stage who cares
all this hot burlesque for me
cleavage, cleavage
thighs and hips
from the nape of her neck
to the lip stick
lips
chopped and channeled
and lowered and louvered
and a cheater
slicks
and baby moons
she's hot and ready
and creamy and
sugared
and the band is awful
and so are the tunes
crawlin on her
belly shakin like jelly
and I'm getting harder than
Chinese algebraziers
and cheers
from the compendium here
hey sweet heart they're yellin for
more
squashing out your cigarette butts
on the floor
and I like
Shelly
you like Jane
what was the girl with the snake skins name
it's
an early bird matinee
come back any day
getcha little sompin
that cha
can't get at home
getcha little sompin
that cha can't get at
home
pasties and a g-string
beer and a shot
Portland through a shot
glass
and a Buffalo squeeze
popcorn, front row
higher than a
kite
and I'll be back tomorrow night
and I'll be back tomorrow
night
tracks
Well I got a bad liver and a broken heart
yea I drunk me a river since
you tore me apart
and I don't have a drinking problem
cept when I can't
get a drink
And I wish you'd a known her
we were quite a pair
she was
sharp as a razor
and soft as a prayer
so welcome to the continuing
saga
she was my better half
and I was just a dog
and so here am I
slumped
I been chippied I been chumped
on my stool
so buy this fool,
some spirits and libations
it's these railroad station bars
with all these
conductors and the porters
and I'm all out of quarters
and this epitaph is
the aftermath
yea I choose my path
hey come on Cath, he's a lawyer,
he
ain't the one for ya
and no the moon ain't romantic
it's intimidating as
hell
and some guy's trying to sell
me a watch
And so I'll meet you at
the
bottom of a bottle of
bargain Scotch
I got me a bottle and a
dream
it's so maudlin it seems
you can name your poison
go on ahead
and make some noise
I ain't sentimental
this ain't a purchase it's a
rental
and it's purgatory, hey
what's your story, well
I don't even
care
cause I got my own double-cross to bear
and I'll see your Red
Label
and I'll raise you one more
and you can pour me a cab,
I just
can't drink no more
cause it don't douse the flames
that are started by
dames
It ain't like asbestos
it don't do nothing but
rest us
assured
and substantiate the rumors
that you've heard.
tracks
The jigolo's jumpin salty
ain't no trade out on the streets
half
past the unlucky
and the hawk's a front-row seat
dressed in full
orquestration
stage door johnnys got to pay
and sent him home
talking
bout the one that got away
could a been on easy street
could a been a
wheel
with irons in the fire
and all them business deals
But the last
of the big-time losers
shouted before he drove away
I'll be right back as
soon as I crack
the one that got away
the ambulance drivers don't
give a shit
they just want to get off work
and the short stop and the
victim
have already gone berserk
and the shroud-tailor measures him
for a deep-six holiday
the stiff is froze, the case is closed
on the
one that got away
Jim Crow's directing traffic
with them cemetery
blues
with them peculiar looking trousers
them old Italian shoes
the
wooden kimona was all ready
to drop in San Francisco Bay
but now he's
mumbling something
all about the one that got away
Costello was the
champion
at the St. Moritz Hotel
and the best this side of Fairfax,
reliable sources tell
but his reputation is at large
and he's at Ben
Frank's every day
waiting for the one that got away
he's got a snake
skin sportshirt,
and he looks like Vincent Price
with a little piece of
chicken
and he's carving off a slice
but someone tipped her off
she'll be doing a Houdini now any day
she shook his hustle
and a
Greyhound bus'll
take the one that got away
Andre is at the piano
behind the Ivar in the sewers
with a buck a shot for pop tunes,
and a
fin for guided tours
He could of been in Casablanca
he stood in line out
there all day
but now he's spilling whiskey
and learning songs about a
one that got away
well I've lost my equilibrium
my car keys and my
pride
tattoo parlor's warm
and so I huddle there inside
the grinding
of the buzz saw
whatchuwanthathingtosay
just don't misspell her
name
buddy she's the one that got away
tracks
Well small change got rained on with his own .38
and nobody flinched
down by the arcade
and the marquise weren't weeping
they went stark-raving
mad
and the cabbies were the only ones
that really had it made
and his
cold trousers were twisted,
and the sirens high and shrill
and crumpled
in his fist was a five-dollar bill
and the naked mannikins with their
cheshire grins
and the raconteurs
and roustabouts said buddy
come
on in
cause the dreams ain't broken down here now
now ...they're walking
with a limp
now that
small change got rained on with his own
.38"
and nobody flinched down by the arcade
and the burglar alarm's been
disconnected
and the newsmen start to rattle
and the cops are tellin'
jokes
about some whore house in Seattle
and the fire hydrants plead the
5th Amendment
and the furniture's bargains galore
but the blood is by the
jukebox
on an old linoleum floor
and it's a hot rain on 42nd
Street
and now the umbrellas ain't got a chance
And the newsboy's a
lunatic
with stains on his pants cause
small change got rained on
with his own .38
and no one's gone over to close his eyes
and there's a
racing form in his pocket
circled "Blue Boots" in the 3rd
and the cashier
at the clothing store
he didn't say a word as the
siren tears the night
in half
and someone lost his wallet
well it's surveillance of assailants
if that's whatchawannacallit
and the whores hike up their skirts
and
fish for drug-store prophylactics*
with their mouths cut just like
razor
blades and their eyes are like stilettos
and her radiator's steaming
and
her teeth are in a wreck
now she won't let you kiss her
but what the hell
do you expect
and the Gypsies are tragic and if you
wanna to buy perfume,
well
they'll bark you down like
carneys... sell you Christmas cards in
June
but...
small change got rained on with his own .38
and his
headstone's
a gumball machine
no more chewing gum
or baseball cards
or
overcoats or dreams and
someone is hosing down the sidewalk
and he's
only in his teens
small change got rained on with his own .38
and a
fistful of dollars can't change that
and someone copped his watch fob
and
someone got his ring
and the newsboy got his porkpie Stetson hat
and the
tuberculosis old men
at the Nelson wheeze and cough
and someone will head
south
until this whole thing cools off cause
small change got rained on
with his own .38
yea small change got rained on with his own .38
*this line omitted from lyric sheet
tracks
Well I don't mind working
cause I used to be jerkin off
most of my
time in the bars
I been a cabbie and a stock clerk
and a soda fountain
jock jerk
and a manic mechanic on cars
It's nice work if you can get
it
now who the hell said it
I got money to spend on my gal
but the work
never stops
and I'll be busting my chops
working for Joe and
Sal.
And I can't wait to get off work
and see my baby
she said
she'd leave the porch lite
on for me
I'm disheveled I'm disdainful
and
I'm distracted and it's painful
but this job sweeping up here is
is
gainfully employing me tonight
Tom do this Tom do that
Tom, don't do
that
count the cash, clean the oven
dump the trash oh your lovin
is a
rare and a copasetic gift
and I'm a moonlight watchmanic
it's hard to be
romantic
(sweeping up over by the
cigarette machine
sweeping up over by
the cigarette machine...)
I can't wait to get off work
and see my
baby
she'll be waiting up with a magazine for me
clean the bathrooms,
clean um good
oh your lovin I wish you would
come down here and
sweepameoffmyfeet
this broom'll have to be my baby
if I hurry, I just
might
get off before the dawns early light.
tracks
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